The kindness of strangers

I’d like to share some good news stories I’ve been enjoying recently. There’s an awful lot of the other sort, and it makes a nice change to focus on the positive for a while!

Positives like Capuchin Franciscan Brother Richard’s poem Lockdown, which became famous world-over when he posted it on Facebook on Paddy’s Day.

It begins: “They say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise

You can hear the birds again.

They say that after just a few weeks of quiet

The sky is no longer thick with fumes

But blue and grey and clear.”

You can read the rest here.

Feed the Heros, a fundraiser set up by family and friends of healthcare workers, has raised €325,000 to send takeaway meals to those on the front line of the fight against coronavirus, more than smashing an initial target of €250.

GAA clubs around the country have grouped together to offer support to members of the public with shopping or collecting prescriptions, and taxi drivers have been offering transport and delivery services free of charge. Restaurants around the world have offered free meals to children who would normally be fed at school.

Guinness has donated €1.5 million to help support bar staff and help elderly people, through ALONE, the charity for older people. Several NBA basketball stars in the US have pledged hundreds of thousands of pounds to support arena staff out of work due to games being cancelled.

Individual stories stand out too – like the London pub which sent a 90-year-old regular customer a barrel of beer and box of crisp packets for him to enjoy during isolation. A florist in Antrim decided to use up her remaining stock after being forced to close by delivering random bouquets for free to neighbours and friends.

Another woman in the UK created a postcard which people can fill out with their contact details and offers of help with shopping, posting mail or a friendly phone call and then put through neighbours’ letterboxes. Broadway star Laura Benanti posted a message on Twitter asking children whose High Scholl Musicals had been cancelled to send her a video of themselves singing, so she could be their audience. The hashtag #SelfIsolationHelp started by social media strategist Samantha Kelly has been doing the rounds with people offering help and support.

I have heard many personal stories too, of strangers offering kindness to their neighbours or via social media, of communities coming together to support each other and of friends, families and colleagues making an extra effort to be close to one another when isolating apart – including several stories about ‘virtual pub’ sessions over Skype – sounds like a great idea!

Have you seen any other stories of kindness in the past few weeks? Comment below and let me know.

The 98-year-old doctor who cares

“There is no secret to becoming a centenarian, it’s straightforward.”

This is the view of France’s oldest doctor, Christian Chenay, who is still working at his practice on the outskirts of Paris at the age of 98.

“It’s good for my health to keep active,” he added, in an interview with the BBC program Newshour.

But apart from being good for his own health, Mr Chenay is still practising after 70 years because of the obvious good it does his patients.

In numerous interviews with media outlets from across the globe who visit to report on Mr Chenay’s longevity, they extol his caring nature and the trust he is held in by the local community.

“He’s someone you can talk to, who you feel comfortable with,” one patient told media outlet Brut.

“He knows my illnesses inside out, he knows my habits. I don’t see him only as my doctor, to me he’s like a dad,” said another to the BBC.

Mr Chenay sees patients on two mornings a week, and he is the only local doctor who allows patients to turn up without an appointment. If he closed down his practice, he would likely not be replaced as France is facing a drastic shortage of family doctors. In Chevilly-Larue, where Mr Chenay practises, there are only three doctors for a population of 19,000.

“This doctor is really loved because he takes time to listen to you, he calms you down,” Yamina Derni told the Guardian.

“You don’t even notice his age,” added the 63-year-old, who had been treated for benign tumours.

“He’s got an amazing memory and he takes time to investigate the why and how of what’s wrong,” said Sarah Lahrouchi, 31, a patient of Chenay’s since she was born.

Christian Chenay practices in a suburb of Paris.

Christian Chenay is a wonderful example of someone who loves the work that they do and so can continue doing it well past an age at which most of us would retire.

But he also seems to be an excellent doctor and a real asset to the community, as the emphasis of his treatment is on care. One patient even compared him to a psychologist, and it’s easy to see why: Mr Chenay believes in getting to know his patients and talking to them in order to get to the bottom of whatever the problem is.

His approach echoes that of Sir William Osler, a doctor who lived 1849-1919 and is considered by many to be the father of modern medicine. He said: “It is much more important to know what sort of patient has a disease than what sort of disease a patient has.”

He added: “The good physician treats the disease, the great physician treats the patient who has the disease.

Mr Chenay has said that a large part of his work as a local doctor involves helping patients with underlying mental health issues, especially in a low-income Paris suburb where there is high unemployment and many get by on very little.

Mr Chenay reports excellent eyesight and hearing, and says he has no plans to retire any time soon. We could use a few more local doctors like him, whatever age they are!

A brief history of unexplained pain

Pain is a fundamental part of the human experience – from the short, sharp shock of stubbing a toe to the sometimes life-changing agony of chronic pain, it is something that links humans throughout the ages. It is fascinating to chart the study of unexplained pain, and it can be helpful in thinking about our attitude to pain today. The importance of considering a person’s state of mind as well as the physical site of pain has been recognised for many years.

References to pain can be found dating as far back as 2250 BC on Babylonian clay tablets, and it’s likely that pain was at that time blamed on evil spirits. Several thousands of years later in Ancient Greece, philosophers and early doctors were still learning. Though their knowledge of anatomy and disease was primitive, some were beginning to understand the mind-body link much better than many do today.

Fragment of inscribed clay tablet believed to be from Babylon.

In 400BC Greek Hippocrates observed that strong emotion or excitement could cause physical symptoms such as sweat or an unusually fast heartbeat. In his view, treating the mind was as important as treating the body, and it was necessary to view an invalid as a whole, body and mind, in order to heal them.

Like Hippocrates, Herophilus (c.335-280 BC) considered the brain the site of pain perception, and his work was rediscovered by a Roman philosopher named Galen around 400 years later. Galen made the link between emotional trauma and physical symptoms, and wrote in c.150 AD that a patient was “afflicted not by a bodily disease, but rather some emotional trouble grieved her.”

A millennium and a half later, the Frenchman René Descartes concluded the mind influenced the body in the same way as levers influence the workings of machinery, and is reported to have told Princess Elizabeth in the early 1640s that bad thoughts could cause bad dreams and bodily disorders.

French neurologist Jean Charcot (1825-1893) gave a lecture in 1888 arguing that psychology plays a role in the area of nervous diseases. His student, Sigmund Freud, took the influences of Charcot and contemporaries Pierre Janet and Josef Breuer, and surmised that trauma could lead to repression of feelings and memories. With no other outlet, these thoughts ‘converted’ into a physical complaint – ‘conversion disorder’ is a term still used today.

Sir William Osler (1849-1919), often referred to as the father of modern medicine, regarded emotional factors as important in physical illness. He wrote “the good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease”.

Francis Peabody (1881-1927), a well-respected American doctor who spent much of his life training and then teaching at the University of Boston, wrote at length about the importance of a personal relationship between the doctor and patient. He famously said that: “the secret of the care of the patient, is in caring for the patient”.

This is an edited and condensed version of the history chapter I co-wrote with David Clarke for the book Psychophysiologic Disorders: Trauma Informed, Interprofessional Diagnosis and Treatment, published in November. It was fascinating to research, and we both wished we had more space to delve deeper into the history! The textbook is available to purchase here.

Can you learn to look on the bright side?

Is it still February? It may feel as though this month will go on forever, and indeed it’s often touted as one of the hardest of the year. The glow of the festive season is a distant memory, but spring still isn’t here – in fact quite the opposite in the past few days with sleet, freezing temperatures and storm Ciara causing havoc.

For this reason this blog seemed like a good opportunity to talk about optimism. It’s something we often take for granted, content to label ourselves as either a glass half-full person or a glass half-empty person, but in fact it’s possible to learn to be more optimistic, with small, incremental changes.

Optimism is proven to be good for you. Studies show that an optimistic outlook can improve health and life expectancy, increase performance and reduce stress, which has a knock-on positive effect on health.

One of the most famous authorities on the psychology of optimism is the American psychologist Martin Seligman, who is well-known for his theory of learned helplessness. His book, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, argues that it is possible to make yourself happier and more productive through learning optimistic behaviours.

He summarises: “The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault: Circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about. Such people are unfazed by defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder.”

Dr Seligman argues that it is possible to escape pessimism and learn to be an optimist, by learning a new set of cognitive skills. With time you can change your thought patterns to consciously label bad events as temporary, confined to just one case, and not your fault.  This is an approach incorporated into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which some people find hugely helpful in dealing with mental health problems such as anxiety, PTSD and depression.

If you think you might like to know more about CBT you can visit your general practitioner for advice. But if you are just interested in improving your health, happiness and outlook on life, then it’s worth thinking about Dr Seligman’s research next time a minor negative event occurs. Spilled tea on your jumper? You’re not clumsy, you were just in a rush. Did badly on a presentation at work? You’re not bad at your job, it was a difficult task. These techniques can enable a sense of long-term hopefulness. It’s worth noting that they won’t work for serious catastrophes, and that the idea is not to become arrogant and simply blame other people for your own mistakes, but in the right context, Dr Seligman can help you to feel that your glass is a little more full.

A lost art

Last week a letter arrived addressed to me. It was from a dear friend whom I haven’t seen for many years, but still feel incredibly close to. We keep in infrequent but regular contact, almost exclusively through letters, sometimes accompanied by the odd photograph to show how much has changed in the appearance of our children - and how little in our own!

Letter-writing is increasingly hailed as a ‘lost art’ – it seems that nobody has time for it any more now that services like WhatsApp and Facebook messenger have made contact with friends living abroad free. While writing letters certainly isn’t appropriate for every relationship, and is no substitute for a phone call, I find it a real joy.

I’ve written before about the benefits of expressive writing, and while the letter-writing I mean in this case is very different as it’s aimed at someone other than yourself, the act of writing your thoughts down can still be very helpful in processing them.

I also think letter-writing creates a unique connection with another person – the feeling of holding something in your hand which another person has also held is very powerful. A Facebook message can’t come close to that.

That isn’t to say that Facebook messaging or WhatsApp or whatever other more modern method you might use doesn’t have its own value. Being able to instantly connect with someone is very important too. But there are some relationships for which letter-writing is perfect. I find that it works best with friends I don’t see very often, and who perhaps live abroad, making it harder to call them or send messages in the same time zone. Writing letters encourages us to keep in touch, as because of the time lag of a few weeks per letter it’s easy to keep the correspondence going, rather than a chat message simply tailing off.

American Hannah Brencher was at a low point in New York when she discovered that writing a love letter to a stranger made her feel better. She later founded a global organisation which does just that - More Love Letters is a network of people who write love letters to those who request them, in the hope of spreading happiness. Since its foundation in 2011 the group have written 250,000 love letters to people in more than 73 countries.

Hannah has since written a book, If you Find This Letter: My Journey to Find Purpose Through Hundreds of Letters to Strangers. In it she writes about the unique vulnerability of writing letters: “You can tell a completely different story to someone when you’ve got all the vulnerable space of a page to back you up. You can say things you might not have the courage to say elsewhere. You can let honestly loose on the page and then fold it up and drop it in the mailbox. Away, away the release of your troubles could fly.”

When was the last time you wrote a letter? When was the last time something came through your letterbox that wasn’t a bill or bank statement? It may be slower than an online message, but letter-writing can offer a unique connection with another person, as well as a soothing writing experience and the irresistible excitement of getting post through the door.

Changing direction

As some of you will know, I started my working life as an actor and dancer. There is something surreal about seeing your face on the side of a bus, advertising a particular production. The theatre wasn’t for me long term, and after my ‘dabble’ in performance arts I trained as a teacher and quickly moved into teacher training and lecturing at university level, which then led me to teaching Pilates.

Now I find myself running the Resolving Chronic Pain c­linic and while my background as a movement specialist and my skills as a teacher are both fundamental to my current work, I could never have imagined myself doing this back when I was desperately trying to learn the words and musical rhythm for the lead role advertised on the side of those buses.

One of the most positive ways in which life has changed in this country in recent years is that people are no longer expected to find one career and stick to it for the rest of their lives, even if it doesn’t suit them. We are ­given the freedom to choose, and while that may have negative effects, as discussed in a previous blog, it also presents us with a world of opportunity if we don’t like where we are just now.

In fact, one of the greatest challenges now faced by those unhappy with their careers is that of finding the courage to start again. It’s easy to feel ‘too old’ to take a new direction. This is ridiculous, because age is relative – I know 20-year-olds who feel ‘too old’ to get on the path they want, which I think we can all agree is a little preposterous, and which proves that age is all about mindset anyway.

Gladys Burrill, to use a famous example of someone who picked up something new very late in life, ran her first marathon in 2004 at 86 years old. She became famous after finishing the Honolulu Marathon at 92 – she walked/jogged it, but she still got all the way round, and in nine hours 53 minutes which is no mean feat.

Helen Glover was a lot younger when she changed direction – just 23. But in further proof that age is relative, that is widely considered late to take up a professional sport. Helen did, and just four years later at the age of 27, she won Gold in the coxless pair at the 2012 Olympics.

John Crace, the British journalist, turned his life around in a different way at 30. He found himself addicted to heroin, having ‘annihilated my entire twenties’, he wrote in GQ magazine. But Crace pulled himself out of a hole, went to rehab, started writing, and now has a family and a career. He writes about it still being a daily struggle, but his life is immeasurably different to how it was 30 years ago.

Brendon Gleeson was in his mid-thirties when he gave up his job teaching Irish and English at the now-closed Belcamp College in Dublin, although he had trained as an actor before taking the teaching job.

Alan Rickman studied graphic design for five years after leaving school, and even went so far as to open a graphic design studio. After three years of successful business he decided to change direction and pursue an acting career.

Anna Mary Robertson Moses, better known as Grandma Moses, was an American folk artist. She worked on farms churning butter and making crisps until she and her husband bought their own farm, which Anna ran for decades. At the age of 76 she developed arthritis, and turned to painting as a hobby she could easily do despite her condition. She took up painting at 78, and became a world-famous artist before her death aged 101 in 1961.

It’s interesting to look back at the winding direction life can take you on, and it’s exciting to think of what might be to come. I hope some of these stories have inspired you to appreciate the twists and turns of your life or to consider new possibilities.

New Year, same you

Happy New Year!

I love New Year and always have done – I see it as a fresh start and an opportunity for change.

However, I know that not everyone enjoys this time of year quite as much. Feeling like something has come to an end and asking yourself ‘well, what did you achieve this year?’ can exacerbate any underlying feelings of disappointment or failure. These kind of motivational chats with yourself are wonderful, but it’s no help to anyone to be always chasing an unattainable goal if it reinforces the idea that you are somehow inadequate as you are.

New Year is a convenient moment for taking a breath and assessing where we are in life, whether or not we would like to be here, and what we can do about it if not. Even if everything is as it should be, it’s a good chance to introduce a new project or thing to work on – something positive and exciting. The part of New Year’s resolutions that is not constructive is the subtle reprimand that in some way we need to be better. That attitude tends to lead to a harsh promise of a new regime that is impossible to sustain.

If you’d like some hints about making New Year’s resolutions that are sustainable, take a look at the blog I wrote around this time last year: Why do my New Year’s resolutions falter?

This year I have taken a new approach, and made five positive New Year’s resolutions. I took a few minutes to write down ten of my favourite things of 2019: moments, activities, experiences. Then I went through them and crossed out those things which can’t be easily repeated – things I can’t afford to do twice in two years, activities with people I won’t be able to see again so soon, or events which won’t happen again, for example.

Once I had the list down to a suitable five, I resolved to do more of them in 2020. Of course, it’s not possible to recreate past experiences – nor is it a good idea. But those moments can act as inspiration for future ones. For example, one of my favourite moments of 2019 was a very simple, sunny Sunday afternoon which I spent reading a novel. I can’t control the weather, or read the same book again, but I’ve decided I’m going to make more time to read for pleasure in 2020 – it always feels like an over-indulgence, but surely it’s worth prioritising if that was one of my favourite moments of the year.

You can apply a bit of creative license to some of the experiences – for example you can’t recreate a friend’s birthday celebration, but you can resolve to visit that friend for the weekend or arrange to do something else with them. If you spent time with a loved one you won’t be able to see again this year, you could resolve to call them or write to them more, or to set time aside for other family and friends.

I’m going to do more of what I love in 2020, and I can’t wait. What about you?