Encore!

I recently heard that a friend of a friend had decided to retrain as an architect at the age of 40, having worked sales until that point. The friend who told me was initially shocked (what on earth is he thinking?!) but then admitted she was also in awe of this man’s courage to begin a new career and leap into the unknown.

The “rules” around working life have changed hugely in the last few decades, and this friend’s story is becoming more and more common. There’s no rule saying you have to change careers, and many people won’t, but there are now fewer barriers to making a change if you realise your current career path is not making you happy.

One of my favourite of these stories is that of a 56 year old British woman who felt exhausted and burned out after decades of working as a journalist and decided to retrain as a teacher. She then founded an organisation to help other people in their 40s and 50s do the same, aiming to allow people to change their lives mid-career, and also combat a shortage of teachers.

An article in the Irish Times about other people making similar changes recently caught my eye, making the point again that such “encore careers” are becoming more and more common. One of the people featured was a 47-year-old man from Dublin who left a 20-year career in insurance, trained as a chef, appeared on Masterchef Ireland and then worked in a few restaurants before deciding it wasn’t for him and training as a pilot, with the goal of working for commercial airlines.

He makes the point that “switching lanes” in your 40s is difficult, especially financially. You also find yourself being managed by people younger than you, and have to start again from the beginning despite your depth of experience in another field. But a quote from this man stood out: “The way I see it, I still have 20 years of work still left in me. There are other currencies in life other than money.”

It is still true that many people need to stay in certain jobs or certain careers for financial reasons, or in order to support families, regardless of how much satisfaction this job brings. But for some the biggest barrier to making a change might simply be fear of leaping into the unknown – often a well-founded fear, but not always one worth listening to.

To my former self

I sometimes ask clients to write a letter to themselves in the past. It’s a useful tool, as it allows people to take a moment to reflect on just how far they have come, as well as often giving their former selves words of kindness or encouragement. One client – I’ll call him Aaron – gave me permission to share excerpts of his letter in the hope it may help other people.

Aaron wrote a letter to himself at a time in the past when he was in “unimaginable” pain, on a particular trip for work. He found himself in a hotel room, curled up into a ball on the floor for three days. At this point he had not met me, but was beginning to realise that he would have to do something about confronting the causes of his pain.  

“It's a difficult step to take because you feel like you could be fuelling the issue by giving it more attention, but you also can't go in living in this fear which is crippling you,” he later wrote.

Aaron worked with me for some months, and discovered he is a sensitive person. He spent a lot of time thinking about his beliefs, and the beliefs he had as a child. He had been through some very difficult experiences and taken on a huge weight of responsibility while very young, and this had major repercussions into his adult life.

When writing the letter, Aaron had not yet resolved his pain, but had made enormous progress towards doing so.

“It's difficult to know how far along the road we are - I suspect it's not even half way yet,” he wrote.

“But I am now far enough through that I can begin to believe that I can free myself from TMS/PPD and go on to live to my full potential for myself, and for those around me.”

When people begin the process with Resolving Chronic Pain, they fill out a questionnaire called the Roland Morris Pain questionnaire. This gauges the level of their pain, and can be used as a starting point from which to help recognise progress later on. In his first session Aaron scored 14 out of 24. When we repeated the process this week, his score was zero, or no pain at all.

Some good news

I had some good news recently, with two clients getting promotions at work. Both these people were debilitated by pain just a few months ago, and the last thing they were concerned about was work, let alone promotion. One of them, Charlie, found himself in a position where the idea of chasing a promotion was “very unappealing”.

“I thought I would never get the recognition I deserved,” he said.

“Any time I saw someone else getting promoted or getting praise for their efforts I was resentful and bitter. I knew I was doing good work but I had concluded - after years of frustration - that I just wasn’t a people person and unfortunately that’s just the way it was going to be forever.”

He felt he would have to ‘pretend’ to be a team player in order to get promoted, betraying his true self.

“I decided that wasn’t what I was prepared to do, so I did nothing and tried to manage the frustration instead. I was miserable. I was also in pain and fighting what at times felt like unmanageable anxiety.”

As the all-consuming pain began to subside, Charlie became aware of the relationship between his work frustrations and unresolved pain or anxiety episodes. He began to consider what a sense of fulfilment and potential at work might feel like.

About six months ago Charlie began trying a combination of strategies that has sky-rocketed his happiness at work: Leading by example; detachment from outcome and leaning back. This has ‘completely changed’ how he views his role at work.

 He said: “I don’t need to chase approval all the time. I don’t need to care how something gets built. I don’t need to continuously speak in meetings and try to influence every decision. My role now has a boundary that I understand.”

He now leads by example, and loves the feeling of diving into things that colleagues find scary.
On detachment from outcome, he said: “It doesn’t matter if I’m wrong or someone else is wrong. Perfection is the enemy of good. Ultimately it’s only work so who cares! Let’s try to take a step in the right direction.”

Leaning back was the ‘biggest and most satisfying’ adjustment he has made. It’s the most difficult challenge for many people learning to resolve chronic pain: embracing and appreciating all their skills, expertise and experience. This change reduces the pressure to continuously demonstrate your worth to colleagues.

 “When in a meeting I don’t need to “fix” it if it is not going smoothly,” he said.

“I am confident and competent so I can lean back and participate when I am needed. I can draw people in with simple sound bites like “I have some ideas around this” and then return to leaning back. Leaning back is my true nature. Leaning forward is the opposite. I had been leaning forward for far too long.”

Charlie is one of two clients who have recently been promoted at work after being able to focus on more than their pain. I hope there will be more stories like his - whether good news from work, or any other area of life.

My talk with Chronic Pain Ireland is now available to view here. Tuesday 29th March 2022 CPI published my article 'Pain Science, Chronic Pain and Movement', to complement the above video, click here to read the full screen version.

Chronic and acute pain

A ground-breaking study published in 2021 provided evidence that a psychological approach can cure chronic pain. In the Boulder Back Pain Study, published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry by researchers at Colorado University, 150 people with chronic back pain were treated either with psychological therapy around their beliefs, or a placebo. After four weeks, 66% of those who had received the treatment were nearly or fully pain-free, compared to 10% of the control group. These outcomes were mostly maintained a year later.

This new research validates the emerging view that a large proportion of chronic pain is not structural, but a brain response. The pain is persistent and certainly not imagined or ‘all in the head’: it’s a brain response with physical impact. It is a similar concept to blushing, crying, or an elevated heart rate, all of which can be bodily reactions to what the brain perceives.

Acute Pain is sometimes described as a ‘useful’, because it alerts us to a need to act, to investigate the pain and find a suitable solution. The pain is recognised in terms of its site: a broken bone or sprained ankle, a deep cut or burn.

Chronic pain is different. It can be interpreted as the brain’s fallible perception of danger, generated by the brain to protect us from a perceived threat or fear. Therefore, changing our perceptions, acquiring knowledge, adjusting beliefs, thinking or feeling differently can dramatically reduce pain.  Almost everyone who has recovered from stress illness finds understanding the misconceptions of the brain illuminating. It is a physiological process, which can be enhanced by movement, developing body awareness and learning to trust the body again.

I was pleased to give a talk to Chronic Pain Ireland on this topic yesterday. There were lots of questions and positive feedback, and it strengthened my belief that most people experiencing chronic pain are eager to learn about the regulation of the autonomic nervous system. The role of beliefs and emotions in affecting that ANA regulation is a fascinating and illuminating area of research. I want to thank Chronic Pain Ireland for having me, and all the attendees for their attention and questions. You can watch a recording of the talk, it’s forty minutes, on the Chronic Pain Ireland website here it has just been uploaded on their home page, and in their online library. Tuesday 29th March 2022 CPI published my article 'Pain Science, Chronic Pain and Movement', to complement the above talk, click here to read the full screen version.

Amy’s story

Amy used to be very active, playing hockey, running, swimming, and always being “on the go”. But then in her early thirties she began to experience chronic lower back pain.

“It got to the point where I couldn’t do any of the things that I loved doing any more,” she said.

“I couldn’t run, and it hurt to walk.”

Amy felt as though she were “losing her identity” because of the pain, which is not an uncommon feeling.

Many people remark that it’s impossible to recognise yourself after a while as all your energy is focused on managing pain.

Each day becomes dominated by working out how to cope with the persistent pain, to the point that mundane tasks require enormous effort and planning.

Amy tried visiting physiotherapists, and did two lower back rehabilitation programmes, but nothing seemed to help.

Then she tried working with Mags, and began to move with much less pain.

Now she has returned to being active, and runs, swims and goes to the gym, as well as doing yoga and Pilates.

“I genuinely do not give my back a second thought,” she said.

“I have rediscovered a love of horse riding and gardening, so I get to do all the things that I love to do.”

Amy added that working with Mags has helped her to better understand her pain.

“I’m so grateful for this process, because firstly I am pain free, but secondly, I have a much greater understanding of pain, and that it may be a signal of something else that is going on,” she said.

“To be really able to delve into that and understand that has been the most rewarding part for me in this whole process.”

It has also helped her to reclaim her identity and her overall ability to cope with daily tasks.

With a new understanding of her highly sensitive nature, Amy has ensured she has regular quiet time at work to re-group.

This has allowed her to stay in her job and increase her responsibilities, and she recently accepted a rotation to a new role.

You can watch Amy telling some of her story previously here.

Into the unknown

Do you always go to the same supermarket? I do. The one nearest to me, where I know where absolutely everything is, and have begun to recognise some of the staff members. It makes the weekly shop much easier and faster, as I can find everything easily and know the products well.

But last week, my favourite supermarket was closed. There had been some fault in the building and repair work needed to be done, so I was left to turn elsewhere for my shopping. It sounds ridiculous, but in the humdrum of how much our worlds have shrunk in the past two years, venturing out to a different supermarket almost felt like an adventure. I ended up in a new place, and with a few new types of ingredients and treats to bring home.

It reminded me of the advice I often give to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. I hadn’t been following it recently and had slipped into routine, in more areas than just which supermarket I was going to. I was finding myself with the same patterns week in week out, of who I was spending time with, what I was doing and where I was going. Breaking out of routine has been especially difficult during the pandemic, as there are limits to how much we can throw caution to the wind and jet off on an adventure.

But I have found it is always worth it if I can break those routines in some way, whether that be choosing a different recipe for dinner, heading off for a walk somewhere nearby that I haven’t been to before, or even taking a different route on a well-trodden walk or car journey. Or, as I discovered last week, switching up where I do my shopping.

Christmas in January

Last week I received a Christmas present in the post, along with a very apologetic note from a friend. She had sent it well in advance in mid December, but come Christmas day it hadn’t arrived. Eventually we got to the bottom of the missing parcel when it was returned to her, and she sent it off again to me. After all this to-ing and fro-ing it’s no surprise that it was almost the end of January by the time it eventually reached me.

My friend was very apologetic, but it turned out to be one of the nicest gifts I received this year. Firstly because of course, a present is a present, and no one should ever need to apologise for giving you wonderful things. But secondly because it arrived in January, in the midst of what often feels like a very long, dark, miserable month.

It always feels as though January drags on forever, and I for one am not sorry to see the end of it. But that belated Christmas present brightened up the final week for me, because of its kindness and also the simple act of a treat being delivered through my door.

February is thankfully not going to drag on quite so long as the previous month, but still even though it is officially spring the cold, dark mornings and evenings will continue for a while. I think my chances of any more delayed Christmas presents are slim, but I have run with the idea and ordered a parcel from a local bookshop to be delivered in a couple of weeks. Now I have something to look forward to, and by the time it arrives there will be just a few more weeks to wait until spring really begins to blossom.

On that note, I spotted more than one clump of snowdrops on a walk over the weekend. A wonderful welcome to spring, and a taster of the good things to come.

Escaping, once in a while

The past two years have brought a lot of challenges, some of which have been devastating, and some more easily overlooked. One thing I’ve noticed beginning to take an increased toll is the lack of options there have been to escape, or “get away from it all”.

Holidays are a blissful luxury many of us may have taken for granted before the pandemic, and since it struck their loss has hardly seemed the most difficult hardship to contend with. But just because they are a luxury doesn’t mean you cannot feel the absence of opportunities to get away.

The current situation has meant a lot of people working harder than ever before, for longer periods of time and without any real break. Sometimes it is not just the time off during a holiday that makes us feel refreshed, but the physical relocation, to somewhere outside your normal area of work and responsibilities.

This may not be possible for a while yet, but recently I have been very much enjoying substitutes on a smaller scale. We have made a habit of taking day trips, choosing a new place an hour or so away and making the trip for a walk, often with a picnic – although these have involved brief stops, warm clothes and hot flasks of tea of late!

I always end up feeling refreshed after one of these trips, and find it wonderful to feel as though I’ve had a bit of an escape from everything, even if not from the weather!

Saying thanks

Some of you might have noticed a few weeks ago that I taught some sessions from a different location. I’m back at home now, but had spent some time visiting friends, before the changes to Covid-19- related restrictions. It was wonderful to finally be able to visit, but after so many months of not being able to I found I had forgotten all the elements that going away entails…. Not least who was going to take care of our four chickens and Freddie the kitten.

Thankfully, one of our children stepped in at the last minute, but the four meals a day required by the collective menagerie was too much for one person, and our kind neighbours were also called on to share the load.

We were overwhelmed at this generosity, especially through reports of Freddie’s “lively” behaviour while we were away. No morsel of food was safe, the rubbish bin had to be defended at all times against vicious attack, and glasses, vases and even tables came crashing to the ground. “You can’t take your eye off him for even a second!” our daughter complained. We smiled to ourselves, reminded of the years of chaos when the children were young.

But far from disowning us over our badly-behaved kitten, we came home to find she had left fresh flowers, milk, bread and cheese to welcome us home. We were very grateful, and hugely enjoyed inviting both her and our neighbours over for dinner to say thank you.

Sometimes saying thank you can be a joy in itself, and it is certainly a joy to be thanked. My children have very fond memories of thanking the postman Tadgh around this time every year. We used to make chocolate caramel squares for him, and while he was always delighted, I’m sure the children enjoyed the experience even more than he did.

It can feel a bit odd giving thanks or gifts to those not expecting them. Sometimes it’s easy to feel embarrassed by this – I know I have more than one card and present sitting in a cupboard somewhere, undelivered due to a nervous wondering whether the other person would think the gesture too much. But, obviously, I was overthinking it. Of course there is a time and a place, but I’ve never yet encountered someone who hasn’t been pleased to receive recognition or a gift.

Lucy's story

It is almost a year since I first met Lucy, in December 2020, and the difference in her is astounding. She had been experiencing chronic pain for five years before she contacted me, but it had only been in the previous year that she had identified it as “chronic pain”, rather than individual issues each requiring separate attention.

She had lower back pain and leg pain, which she felt had previously been “blinding” her. We have worked together over the months, with Lucy leading the process of her recovery. She has delved into reading about TMS/PPD, and has even read the textbook twice!

Lucy told her story in a testimonial video at the beginning of this year, and I have been thrilled to see the further progress she has made since then. It has allowed her to devote more time and thinking space to the activities she enjoys, rather than the pain. She likes walking in nature in her spare time, and has been able to step even further into her role as an artist.

One of Lucy’s pieces

Lucy first discovered art in Transition Year at school, and did a portfolio course with the hope of continuing to art college. In the end she chose the academic route, and studied Art History at UCD. She then studied theatre, media and special effects make-up artistry, and lived and worked in several different countries over the next decade.

She describes being torn between her dream job and her day job, struggling to “allow” herself to be an artist. One day she sat down to her sketch pad and found a new style and expression developing, and along with it a new motivation and inspiration.

Now she creates art around the human form, finding her voice through a minimalist line art style. Based in Kilmacanogue in Co. Wicklow, she has created her own brand, Idir Na Línte. She is motivated by the belief that she can reach other people with her art, and the knowledge that each of her pieces is an expression of a quality, value or emotion that she herself has experienced.

Lucy is offering Resolving Chronic Pain subscribers a discount on her art, found on her website at Idir Na Línte. The 30% discount is active until November 30th, and can be applied at the checkout with the code MAGS30.