I sometimes ask people to write a letter to their former selves, at a time when they were in a different place and often in pain. It can help show people just how far they have come, and allow them to reflect on their progress.
One client, I’ll call him Sean, gave me permission to share his letter. He had just returned from seeing a concert in Dublin, and chose to write to himself in the past at a time when he had also just returned from a concert, Oxygen festival. The difference was that at Oxygen Sean was in pain “the entire time”.
“You felt it in your left hip all the time and you drank to make yourself feel better,” he wrote.
“You have been going to physio and doing copious amounts of stretching and strengthening work, but nothing is working.”
Sean'’s life has changed since that time.
“I’m here to tell you that you have finally broken free,” he wrote.
“You are living in a way that was unimaginable to you back then. It turns out the pain you have been a victim of is your body’s last ditch attempt to get your attention. You haven’t felt safe in a long time. You knew something was off; that life was hard; that being around people was difficult. I can tell you that all those feelings, sensations, and pain are related.
“You have met the love of your life and you have two beautiful, healthy, happy children. In the years after that concert, you put up an enormous fight: training; persevering; battling; and ultimately learning to live with pain, anxiety, bitterness, regret, and resentment. You tried so hard to keep it all in. You fought tooth and nail to live your life the way you wanted to live it.”
Now Sean has just taken his two children on their first holiday, and he describes having “so much fun”. He has stood up for himself at work, and driven to Dublin for a concert, heavy metal this time.
” You are still on a journey but it’s a good one,” he wrote.
“You are blazing a trail with Mags’ help. That painful chapter of your life is over, this new one is just beginning.”
Read the letter Sean wrote to his former self here.